I would never be classifed as a shoe maven. To me, shoes are practical items meant to protect your feet from pointy rocks, stickers, and spiders that need smooshing. It's the one thing that I am practical about.
Though when I find a pair of shoes I like, it's true love. The forever kind of love. Love through thick and thin, weathering every storm.
Recently a friend had to stage an intervention to get me to throw away a pair of shoes that I had worn so long that they had been reduced to flip flops. (They started out as patent leather mary-jane flats.)
I wore them almost every day.
I wore them until the soles tore away from the uppers.
Then I wore them some more.
I wore them until my friend said, "Holybabyjebus, I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!! You look like a hobo! Give me those stupid, stinky, pathetic shoes. I can't stand to hear you shwip-shwopping around this place anymore. They've had their time and now they've gotta go."
When I turned to try and run/shuffle away as quickly as possible with my shoes shwip-shwopping, they tackled me around the knees, forcibly removed the shoes, and threw them in the garbage.
Now I've found a new pair of shoes to love.
![]() |
