Friday, February 25, 2011

The Awe-Manac 3.25.11

I purchased the Awe-manac by Jill Badonsky a year and a half ago.

Then it got boxed and put in storage where it spent it's days in darkness sandwiched between "Carrots Love Tomatoes" and "Proust and the Squid". Now that I'm gradually moving in to Holly House, I'm going through boxes and deciding what to do with all of my things. It's been so long since I've seen some of my stuff that opening each box is like opening presents on Christmas morning... only with more spiders.

I'm lacking in inspiration today so I pulled the Awe-manac out of the stack and decided to use whatever I came across under the March 25th entry as a journal prompt.

Did you know that today is the birthday of Pierre-Auguste Renoir and George Harrison?

The Journal Juju entry in the Awe-manac today: Renoir said, "An artist, under pain of oblivion, must have confidence in himself, and listen only to his real master: Nature." Let nature write you a letter encouraging your confidence. What might the trees, the wind, or the waterfall say? Journal amidst nature.

Hmmm.... here's what I think nature would say to me.

Dear Holly,

Where the f*** have you BEEN? We used to hang out EVERY DAY, and now I'm lucky if you poke your head out once a month to see what the weather's like. What the hell, dude? Aren't we pals anymore?

Get your ass off the couch this spring and come visit, or I won't be held responsible for what happens during tornado season this year. That isn't a threat necessarily, but you'd be right if you thought it sounded like one.

Besides you're getting fat. I can help with that if you'll let me, and it's guaranteed to be more fun and interesting than getting on the treadmill and going round and round staring at the same boring scenery like a sad little hamster on his wheel.

You'll be healthier, too, if you didn't continue to re-breathe the same stale air in the office day after day. There's a reason when people go outside they say they are "getting some fresh air." Everyone knows fresh is better - except you, it seems. Maybe there's a reason why you keep getting headcolds this winter.

Whatever happened to the gardening that you were doing? That was some great one-on-one time. Last year I even encouraged you to get your garden started again (despite minor setback the previous year when the dogs dug a tunnel to the center of the earth starting in the new raised bed) by sprouting all the tomatoes and lettuce that had reseeded itself. I provided a bounty and it didn't even require any effort on your part!  

Instead you stared out the window, and sighed, and said it was too hot or too cold or blamed the dogs or there was a crap program on TV you had to watch or you were just too lazy to stir your ass to bother with it.


Get out here! Stop wishing you were someplace else, like New Zealand. (Yeah, that was me, so don't piss me off.) The weather is fine and I don't have any disasters planned for your area today. Tomorrow that may change, so make the most of today. You're not getting any younger or skinnier sitting there behind the glass.

Hugs, kisses, and fuzzy ducks, 
Ma Nature

It might not sound as though Nature is encouraging my confidence like the exercise intended, but I need the tough love approach.


  1. first of all, Wow is it March 25th already!?! The last month just flew by, it feels like only yesterday was still February! WAIT!!! Did I go to book club and just forget about it? Or did I forget to go at all? Man...I really can't remember...Well, if I did forget to go I at least hope I called;)

    Second, mother nature is really hard on you! Personally, Ma Nature and I just don't get a long so she gave up on me a long time ago. Just remember, she only speaks that way to you because she cares!

  2. LOL - I didn't even catch that. Wishful thinking on my part. I heart you Bittner, snarky comments and all! :))

  3. I totally have the Awe-manac! Too funny... of course I've only done a few days out of it, but it was bought with the best of intentions.

  4. Mother nature is hilarious, I knew there was a reason I wanted to hang out with her more!

  5. This is like the fourth time at least that I've checked your page to find this same post! Come back to us!