Sunday, May 1, 2011

And We're Running... We're Running...

I’ve decided to start running again.

Just as I was forking a second serving of cake into my face, my sister Kell suggested we train to run a marathon next year. I told her to eff-off. There's a damn good reason why, in the story, the poor bastad who ran the 26 miles to deliver the message of the army's triumph at Marathon freakin’ DIED after. It is not my idea of fun to run and then DIE.

Kell snorted in distain and called me a weenie. Then she ran away. She’s faster than I thought. If I ever manage to catch her I’m going to demonstrate my karate skills until she takes it back.

‘Til then I’m just going to lay here in the floor for a while and wheeze. Maybe have another slice of cake.

She had a point though. I am as un-athletic, unmotivated and un-skinny as I’ve ever been. In 2010, I didn’t run a single race. I went from 5K to Couch, which is the exact opposite of what the Couch to 5K plan recommends.

I used to run. It was never enjoyable for me though, because the fact remains that I am essentially not built to be a runner. Genes are hard to dispute. If you trace back along my family tree to the Stone Age, you’ll see that I take after the ancestors who had the stand-and-fight body type rather than the run-away body type.

Kell got the cheetah genes. I got the rhino genes.

Even though I haven't run a race since Dec. 2009, I still subscribe to Runner’s World magazine, which I’m sure my postman finds hilarious. In the same delivery for me he’s got a Runner’s World magazine, a See’s candy catalog, three Netflix, and a postcard from Weight Watchers saying that they miss my fat ass. How Mr. Postman must laugh and laugh and laugh.

Being a postman is a thankless job. I am glad I can brighten his day.

I have no desire to run a marathon. None. EV. ER. However, I am not opposed to shedding a few pounds, participating in a 5K, the Bolder Boulder, or even a local ½ marathon. I miss being fit. I miss the power and confidence of it. I also like knowing, in case of zombie apocalypse, I have the #1 Rule (Cardio) covered.

Next week I’m starting back to the gym with a copy of Runner’s World: Run Your Butt Off and a plan. We’ll see how it goes from there.

1 comment:

  1. I fully support you on this and offer all kinds of encouragement.

    My deep dark secret is that I've always wanted to be a runner. Not like a full on marathon runner, just a "in my free time" kind of runner. When I'm driving through a neighborhood and I see someone out for a casual run I'm actually jealous of them. It just seems so relaxing. And you get all those great endorphins afterwards.

    I would have to loose like half my weight before my body would be able to handle the running, but you never know...